I feel what happened here is an ugly story but one that needed to be told. It is really a medical story, one of my own sexual abuse… a severe mental health crisis, and some very unsettling… things. I truly do not know anymore. Psychosis is an extremely bizarre and difficult topic, my memories of it are surreal if not detached from me, and my thoughts and actions within it, completely weird. The rabbit-hole I went down… beyond weird. Namely, the search for the HB laptop.
In truth, I have found it VERY disheartening that those people who saw me in this process, those from Nobleton, have never really said much about what happened as far as I know. Instead they turned on me. Why? I will likely never name them, but if someone I knew had nearly died and gone psychotic, and got lost in some weird rabbit-hole, I would have helped them. But also, I had become such a difficult and cold person, perhaps I had made friends with similar people? Friends outside of Nobleton also realized I had lost my mind as well, and called the police as they were alarmed. Not so with those from Nobleton. I don’t understand it at all.
Anyway, important to explaining this, the forensics came to the conclusion this was what I was doing. As embarrassing as it is, it is what I was doing, but I was also falling into a psychosis, what would come to totally overwhelm me a few days later.
I like to think of what comes next… yet, it’s all to painful too describe as well… hopefully the universe will take care of it for me. But I will likely continue to blog to show people whatever comes next… been a rather lonely journey. But I won’t give up. One day, I will write a book; this is an absolute certainty. As the length and detail of this blog might suggest, I like writing anyway.
Feel free to read my blog, as it explains basically everything. I won't ever give up.
Robert Aurich (robertaurichblog.blogspot.com)
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